nolstagical message
Monday, September 19, 2005
5:38 AM
nostagical message
he smsed me again, after a three month hiatusShould i?
Not that i still like him in that way, but being friends again seem to be a good idea.
Friends share aspects of their life with one another
Friends cherish each other
Friends give advice
Friends care
Friends r always there for you
Am i prepared physcologically to be a friend?
I have no idea.......
Friends r truthful
I can't be truthful, not to him
I dun noe
I'm confused
I confided in WJ
I got the same ans i have been getting from almost everybody
" a sex pervert"
"had cybersex"
...................................................
"estimate the value to be 40"
he never told me anything
and i doubt he would anyway
I'm not naive, i noe its impossible to continue tt kind of relationship
I dun want it too
Yesterday, i found myself fielding his messages with caution
Every msg, i would analyse for hidden meanings
Then answered them causually
Do i trust him?
I dun noe...i wished i could
I wished I could trust WJ and the others too
Honestly, I 'd jus prefer to escape
A cowardly act, but its tiring to be on my guard 24/7
Now I noe wat true love MUST have...
a person i could trust w/o ever doubting
I dun think i've ever trusted him totally before
invisable ol me
Saturday, September 17, 2005
2:20 PM
I never knew i could lie(5 years old)I never knew i could fly(in my dreams)
I never knew its was so hard to say"i love u"
never knew its so hard to say goodbye
I never knew tt "frens" could b so vicious
never knew odd numbers meant lonliness
I never knew i was inivisible
until now
the gap between our two tables were less than a metre wide
yet i seemed like miles away
there i sat, alone in my corner
on the seventh plane
noises washed over me
like echos bouncing off invisible walls
six planes below
it sounded empty
an echo
of the life i was cut off from
i cocked my head to the side impatiently
gazing down
til another brave soul dares to venture up
i shifted myself into a comfortable position
and waited
-_-
Saturday, September 03, 2005
1:33 PM
-_-.....i feel lyk so sad and miserable dis few days..lyk everything is rather bleak and tt feeling keep bombarding me , u noe...de feeling u get when de sky is grey and overcast, and its cold to de bone...raining....falling....and u're standing by the window...looking at de blurred scenery tru de rain splattered window....den u feel lyk so sian and so miserable....i dun noe which...feel really stressed, my future is lyk obscured..i really had no goal where to go...i want to go and study in a polytechnic....but part of me wants go hwa chong....i'm afraid tt my relatives would kan bu qi me if i study in polytechnic...cuz there's always de misconception tt polytechnics r for lousy ppl, which is not tru....ppl lyk silvia, lyk jj....they r improving at a fast rate....feel choked...i'm tired of evolving my whole life around how many marks i get...and wat L1R5 i want..its lyk redundant...i jus met up wif yujay, lilong, and jasmine on Teacher's day...silivia went to NJC, den i feel very small...there r all dis smart ppl around me...u noe, my mom used to say..." u're from RV! why u dun even noe dis...." i m tired....doesn't mean me in good sch, means i m good....feel stressed....feel lyk slacking,but not enuff time le...i really want somebody tok to....but de person i really want to tok to, dun want to...so feel a bit spurned in a way..sigh, but not tt other ppl dun matter, i really appreciate de help ppl lyk kt gave me...u could say i m greedy..want more...well, but i cant have everything i want de..
results
1:14 PM
oh my gosh! double whammy.....got a huge shock, jus got back my results( my progress report)...haha! didnt improve or deprove, still de same, not tt its a good thing den...i m still a PAR...(pupil at risk)....sianz....i talked to some sec 2 friends, and they all had results like L1R5 9 or 12 or somewhere around there...stressed la...my L1R5 is 27 lohz..so bad.....but some ppl deprove lyk mad...some ppl got 33, and 48...shudder....dunnoe how they get one....kks...mus jia u..i wanna go hwa chong....mus improve til 15 at least...jia u...jia u!! :Dhaiz...today is joel's bday..i didnt really go and remember..its in my handphone....den it alerted me ma....today also is kaiteng's bday.....and xh's too...so many bday..so lil time....sianz....i dun noe if i did de right thing in smsing him?? dunno.....aw....jus wanna say HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY to dis three ppl......smilez..can get ur ics le.....
my grandma coming to live wif us for one week starting tml......she's 88 i tink...den my dad afraid tt ...well, she might not have a chance to do so again...welll....so i gotta keep real quiet dis few days...ahhhh! holiday bu siang holiday....got homework....den have to keep quiet...miss him....hmmmm...saded...nobody see movie wif me...everyone studying...haiz, maybe i better start studying too...ya..see ya...more later...ba...
testing
Thursday, September 01, 2005
12:26 PM
hi people...testing new song...if ur find it weird... tell me kk?? thanks!! :D
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I love the color YELLOW, though i don't wear it.
I love clowns, frogs, polka dots, and whimisical brollies.
I love olden english, the Victorian era, and am a steampunk fan.
I love good architecture, classic designs, photography, and arts and craft.
I am a die hard Romantic and I love doing things with people I love.
It is my ambition to be a businesswoman , and my childhood dream to be an air stewarddess.
75% unpredictablilty 20% steadfastness, and 5% craziness
Hello. my name is (Roxanne),and this is my online diary.
I am random and fickle like the wind.
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