bgr
Thursday, September 28, 2006
12:35 PM
does anyone believe in platonic friendship? anyone? pls raise ur hands so i can see.....i wonder what is the hullabaloo about.i mean there are only two types of homosapiens on earth, female or male, and since rv is a mixed school, it is inevitable one HAS got to interact with either type sometime or the other.
the most irritating thing is,misunderstandings often occur because of the blighty difference in genders.that is so sad....
because of a diff in genders, platonic friendships cannot exist? if he was a gal, all the things we did together would be "legal", so called in a way. so what if he's male, doesnt make a diff to me, the fact that he is still my close fren remains largely.
i will not stop talking or befriending him just because half the level have misconceptions otherwise...that would be totally shallow and the friendship would be as sham as dust
its another 2 months left to go, thankfully...
sometimes i feel negative, having ppl whom i m not v close wif critizising what i do,anyway, the fact that they r not close to me, shows that they do not understand y i did some particular thing, in that case, wouldnt they be the worst critics imaginable?
i'll just find solace in the fact that for those ppl hu are close to me, they understand me.mostly.
like i've said, i do not have the time and the strength to care about how others view me, be it positive or negative, as long as we know that we are not doing anything wrong,and enjoy this close friendship with one another, it is enough for me.
i have clarified a number of times initially, and now i'm tired of saying it, i shall post it here, whoever wants to believe what i m trying to say, good for u.
if not, too bad
prelims were pretty bad
there were two outreach talks from acjc and hcjc today, and an introduction to KI.
the realisation that my prelim results wont get me anywhere near these institutions struck me suddenly( unless they hardcore moderate)
i feel like crying...but whats the use anyways? shrug and move on,i've 29 days left to the first paper...gambatte!
i went to changi airport viewing mall today with my fren
normally,it would have been a rejuvenating experience...watching the planes take off and land..feeling lazy and distant..like there's no pressing issues squashing me flat.
today was different, i couldnt seem to relax, my mind keep whirring,abt my troubles..it seems like another afternoon lost..
anyway the mood after school was totally ruined by an unexpected jest and a near accusation by a close friend, which put me and my fren in i-feel-so-damn-fustrated moods
so....i'm begining to lose hope, really..academic and spiritually wise
May God help me to tide over this period
drawings
Sunday, September 03, 2006
11:10 AM
recently, a good friend had helped me to scan in my drawings! ^-^ yea, tis the start of my own personal online portfolio.... :)
nice way to relax and pretend that o's is over
haiz...
enjoy! comments ( and critics welcomed)
closure
Saturday, September 02, 2006
2:50 AM
closureThank you Lord for being with me just now.
u helped me to handle that
this is the way things should be.
i feel happier and more peaceful now
but i keep feeling that he doenst mean wat he said,i hope he's not hurt inside.
i really want to be a good fren
maybe i'm thinking and reading too much
its not for me to judge.
anyway, i love u loads dear Lord!
last thing
2:43 AM
the last thing i need now is bgr. really.damn hormones...
i read a story book:
#1 would u be more inclined towards someone who cares about u but u dun like in that way?
or a person hu u cant be with but u like a lot?
i cant handle things. so sue me pls.
i feel like crying over and over again. y? i wan to be happy.i know how to be happy, obey God, bask in God's love, and recieve God's happiness, there, three simple steps.
but y cant i just follow them?
the more close i m to you, the more i'm scared of upsetting u. its my own issue isnt it? its my own problem. it has always been like that.
for my future, i have to allienate myself from u, not that i want. but the risk is too big. i might lose another fren again. i dun wanna that to happen. but recently, my feelings seems to be surging.
the symptoms of a crush; searching for u in the crowd, picturing ur smile in my mind. and the nagging thought that i cant be with u. ever.
but u always seem to be around me, and i dun want u to leave me.
is that selfishness?
i guess so.
someone's gotta be the meano here.
Dear God, pls help me here. i've done something i shouldnt.
that;s y i cant bloody concentrate
thats y i'm not happy
you make me feel happy.
but thats fake happiness.
once u're gone, its gone
i dun wan it to be like that.
i dun wan to cry
i wan to be happy
i wan to go HC
i wan to study
yet
i wan u
................
pls punish me Dear Lord
pls steer me back to the right path.
i beg u
pls forgive ur wayward daughter..
i need u
pls
Toh Wan Qin Roxanne
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I love the color YELLOW, though i don't wear it.
I love clowns, frogs, polka dots, and whimisical brollies.
I love olden english, the Victorian era, and am a steampunk fan.
I love good architecture, classic designs, photography, and arts and craft.
I am a die hard Romantic and I love doing things with people I love.
It is my ambition to be a businesswoman , and my childhood dream to be an air stewarddess.
75% unpredictablilty 20% steadfastness, and 5% craziness
Hello. my name is (Roxanne),and this is my online diary.
I am random and fickle like the wind.
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