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Monday, February 06, 2006

11:40 AM

i went with the tuanqi to the respestive teachers' house to bai nian, we went a total of four houses, including huang mu shi's house, which was the last stop.
before we left for home at around 8pm. i sneaked off to ask huang mu shi some questions that has been bothering me for days.
1)my dad is already in heaven, not in some holding area.
2)i cant pray directly to my dad, that would become a form of idol worship.
3)i cant ask God to "pass messages" to my dad(which means miss teo was wrong), because there shall be no contact with the dead,and because they exist in a totally different essence from us
4)dad cannot see wat we're doing on earth, different essence ma, so all the wake, the testimonials, the songs we dedicated were all to comfort ourselves.something like a display in a museum.
5)dad's bones does not mean that it is dad. neither do the niches or his photographs.
dad is not on earth anymore. full stop.
i guess that's a huge drop for me.from my lala land in space to earth.time to wake up.

Toh Wan Qin Roxanne

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