confused

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

8:47 PM

i'm feeling aimless and lost

study study
buy clothes buy clothes.
make friend make friends.

what is the point of it all?

in recent days, m feeling this sense of awareness, back to square one, the same feeling that i felt in rv, when i made new friends,i'm really scared of losing them.

what is this phenoma called n psychological terms? something abt the more fear u have for something, the more u will lose..


i read this article about ppl gaining satisfaction from pleasing others and being accepted.

i guess i fall into this category..
sighs, i better do something abt it.

i wish i can do away with the fear i feel around adi, ch, nat, and stacy.

its like i'm on tetherhooks, any "false moves" or " stray words" so called, will cast me into the proverbial cold palace.

i bought this threadless tee, cuz nat wanted to find ppl to share shipping.
i dun feel like, but i din mind, and plus this is a sort of belonging activity, so i bought.
stupid right?
not the buying of the tee, but the motive behind it.

its kinda pathetic.
i shouldnt feel compelled to say yes, because i worry that my friendship cant withstand the purchase of a tee shirt. :(

i dun have faith in myself.

i dun believe stacy is my friend..

and another article says i should stop taking things too personally.

stacy might have a diff reason for behaving like this today.

sighs,

for the upteenth time.. I'M NOT GONNA LET OTHER PPL AFFECT MY FEELINGS!

right, easier said than done.

rars..

Toh Wan Qin Roxanne

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Hello. my name is (Roxanne),and this is my online diary.

I love the color YELLOW, though i don't wear it.

I love clowns, frogs, polka dots, and whimisical brollies.

I love olden english, the Victorian era, and am a steampunk fan.

I love good architecture, classic designs, photography, and arts and craft.

I am a die hard Romantic and I love doing things with people I love.

It is my ambition to be a businesswoman , and my childhood dream to be an air stewarddess.

I am random and fickle like the wind.

75% unpredictablilty 20% steadfastness, and 5% craziness

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