confused
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Saturday, October 11, 2008
8:47 PM
i'm feeling aimless and lost
study study
buy clothes buy clothes.
make friend make friends.
what is the point of it all?
in recent days, m feeling this sense of awareness, back to square one, the same feeling that i felt in rv, when i made new friends,i'm really scared of losing them.
what is this phenoma called n psychological terms? something abt the more fear u have for something, the more u will lose..
i read this article about ppl gaining satisfaction from pleasing others and being accepted.
i guess i fall into this category..
sighs, i better do something abt it.
i wish i can do away with the fear i feel around adi, ch, nat, and stacy.
its like i'm on tetherhooks, any "false moves" or " stray words" so called, will cast me into the proverbial cold palace.
i bought this threadless tee, cuz nat wanted to find ppl to share shipping.
i dun feel like, but i din mind, and plus this is a sort of belonging activity, so i bought.
stupid right?
not the buying of the tee, but the motive behind it.
its kinda pathetic.
i shouldnt feel compelled to say yes, because i worry that my friendship cant withstand the purchase of a tee shirt. :(
i dun have faith in myself.
i dun believe stacy is my friend..
and another article says i should stop taking things too personally.
stacy might have a diff reason for behaving like this today.
sighs,
for the upteenth time.. I'M NOT GONNA LET OTHER PPL AFFECT MY FEELINGS!
right, easier said than done.
rars..