toh is depressed

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Saturday, October 18, 2008

2:43 PM

i'm depressed..

i'm losing hope

suddenly i dun care abt a lot of things
m fearful of a lot of things.

i need help


but i have to pretend i'm ok..


i wasnt like this a few days ago..
what hit me?
a few days ago i could still chat and spend time with others til 10 plus like it was the most normal thing on earth.

what a far cry

last year i couldnt talk to ppl til 8 w/o feeling beat..

scrap that...
scrap scrap scrap..

the A's is coming who will give a damn abt me>

i rmb someone told me damn is a rude word, but i cant rmb what it stands for..

i'm forgetting so many things these days.

throw out the mirror

let it rot

i never want to look at my own reflection again...


it reminds me of so many painful things.

stirs up so many insecurities.


i hate my reflection

i hate myself..
go away go away.

how did i become from too many friends, back to none now?

is it just my perception, because a few days ago, i din care/
all i wanted is ppl to accomapany me.

maybe they got sick of me

maybe i think to much.

shut it

go and mug ur head off..

but even now.. i dun dare to go outside to mug..
at home, i feel so pathetic..

so much things undone.
so much committments.


and so Toh escapes again..

haven done this in a long time

wriggling out of something i'd promised beforehand because i just cant go out..

just din feel happy
just cant let others see me...
crapcrap crap...

;'(



someone told me before..
the only person that is stopping me is myself..

i wanna break out of this crysalis..
i tot i did, but i'm back in again...
i'm gonna smash it down..

God seems really far away..
or should i put it this way.
he's always there, but i'm drifting.

help


i hope i'm just pmsing...hope this will pass

Toh Wan Qin Roxanne

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Hello. my name is (Roxanne),and this is my online diary.

I love the color YELLOW, though i don't wear it.

I love clowns, frogs, polka dots, and whimisical brollies.

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I am a die hard Romantic and I love doing things with people I love.

It is my ambition to be a businesswoman , and my childhood dream to be an air stewarddess.

I am random and fickle like the wind.

75% unpredictablilty 20% steadfastness, and 5% craziness

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