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Tuesday, December 09, 2008
12:55 AM
i guess, i might be making one mistake after the other.
today God seems to be telling me a lot of things.
met with hope and eugene at kallang at 9 plus, bought dinner and went to eugene's place, where we watched tv, ate and discussed about our production plans.
we decided on the timeline.
and den i got emo again and went into a corner to cry.
eugene came to see what's wrong.
i wish things weren't so awkward
some things are best left unsaid, but its too late for that.
so nvm, i felt that i've neglected hope's feelings, and eugene was not really paying her attention.
felt really bad if u know what i mean.
hope is obviously bleeding inside a little.
i certaintly do not want to recall that night .
:(
so at 5, we took a cab to the airport to send estelle and co off
the parents treated us to dinner, and eleanor's mum drove us back cuz i had severe gastric pains.
went back to sleep, den went over to some industrial park, where eugene recieved lessons on how to conduct trombone lessons with his mentor.
me and hope left in the middle and went to take a bus to jurong.
met shaun at jurong east popular.
guess who i saw. saw jin hern as well.. it was quite a huge shock.
whatever.
the day just din go on better.
it went positively downhill from there.
with the very awkward and tense excursion with shaun, as i shopped in daiso.
i broke down and cried ( again..) and said a lot of stuff i'm not sure if i should have been saying.
like i said, its too late to amend.
just have to trust shaun now.
all i felt was this doomsday feeling...
like oh no.. i hope i din give him the wrong impression..
i'm really tired ya?
den when i came home, loads of missed calls from mom.
silent treatment ensued.
locked myself in my room.
called eugene to ask abt the acm contact.
in the end , ended up talking abt personal stuff, and ( crying yet again)
its quite bad..
i called the contact, was told to hand in my cv tml.
eugene stayed over the net to help me edit my cv.
i think i said something wrong again.
i feel like digging a hole and hiding myself in it.
first eugene, den hope, den shaun, den back to eugene.
like some horrible repetition.
rar..
i dun know what i want in that aspect ok?
just leave me be.
i just want to escape..
and as eugene warned me. this is only the tip of the iceberg.. its gonna get worse ..
dare i continue?
sighs...
i'll thank eugene one day for this training... but i'll prob die in the attempt.
as for shaun..
i'm really tired, and do not want to think abt things any more ..
i'll just pretend nthg happened ,and maybe retreat back into my comfy shell.
just a teeny bit :)