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Saturday, January 15, 2011

2:39 AM

I wonder y i'm always a train wreck around you

when we're not together, my mind just goes in a frenzy

i wish i can just treat you like a normal friend, and then we'll start all over.

but i cant

is that it ? the end?

:(

perhaps we got together without knowing each other well..

regrets regrets regrets..

regret giving too much

regret doing so much for him
regret falling right over my feet and losing my head

regret being too dependent.

now ... the roxanne now, i cant even treat him like how i did when i first met him

perhaps if i could, there could be something ....

thats it isnt it ? every single thing/decision/though is all aimed at getting back together, when he already said no ,he' s not ready for a r/s, nor does he want one now.
like a desperate.
like a stupid
like an obsessed

sad :(

feel like beating myself up and crying inwardly.

without him in my life after the breakup i feel so lost, i have already given up so much of myself to him . when things happen to me, my fingers move subconsciously to the phone, to text him and tell him what i feel.

with him still in my life after the breakup, i feel desperate and stupid and clingy

stupid irritating conumdrum!

why did i fall in love with my best confidante ?
its so hard to tear him out of the picture, out of my brain, my heart, my soul

but i have to try..

attempt number dun know how many..

i hope this time it works..

Toh Wan Qin Roxanne

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Hello. my name is (Roxanne),and this is my online diary.

I love the color YELLOW, though i don't wear it.

I love clowns, frogs, polka dots, and whimisical brollies.

I love olden english, the Victorian era, and am a steampunk fan.

I love good architecture, classic designs, photography, and arts and craft.

I am a die hard Romantic and I love doing things with people I love.

It is my ambition to be a businesswoman , and my childhood dream to be an air stewarddess.

I am random and fickle like the wind.

75% unpredictablilty 20% steadfastness, and 5% craziness

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